...weighs heavy on the soul (p2)

Posted on Wed 25th Feb, 2026 @ 4:45pm by Commander Geraldine "Geri" Severide & Commander Damion Ildaran

2,065 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: [MAIN] From The Ashes
Location: White space
Timeline: Part 2 of the Mantle of Leadersip

-Start-

Gesturing to a page opened on the TaBB Alex pointed to the crew list, "If they decide to stay on board with you great, you'll benefit from their wisdom. Yuma is looking for a real life, so she may just become an asset, Grazia, Kolor, Duke, are all signed on for the ride. Reggie is wed to the ship, and he seems to have downloaded a strange operating system from the Thunderchild I cannot make sense of. It's like a snap shot of fireworks in motion, I can see where the code wants to go, but it's static and myriad... he does that so beware... Reggie has sticky fingers and loves to collect data, it is his primary purpose, to aggregate data. The rest of the list is for you to suss out, the ship can run on two crew, and Kolor will never leave the ship if he can help it. Whether you bring them on as agents or assets to stay on station, up to you. My part in this is over once you say you feel ready."

"What will happen to you?" Damion asked. "I'm not keen on the idea of turning you over to Starfleet Intelligence in digital form--or whatever happened to the LARK's captain. That's no way for an intelligent being to live."

Alex saw the look, and regretted his word choices, "As far as I know there's no regulations for me to have broken. I just know it's time for me to hand the baton to the next runner, the message on the TaBB will bear the same weight. I've been cooperative, and they know I have to emerge eventually. If I take too long I'll be transported out against my will and kept in a buffer. So it's good you came when you did!"

Alex smiled," I can't say what happened to the LARK or her Captain after we handed her over, it might be she was restored. All the training I received was centered on minimizing suffering, correcting imbalances from outside influences sort of philosophy. MY best guess, is that she was from the past. Temporal work is a small factor of our mission. We have chronometric shielding exactly for that reason. The Wells is one time ship, Connecticut Yankee is another we've worked with them, both from the Time Bureau c.35th century."

He stopped smiling, "I miss the wind moving. It gets so stuffy, even if you run, nothing. You're a good egg. I think you'll be ready once you complete the training program."

"I was raised in an underground city, so wind is something I'm not very used to," Damion admitted. "Well, then, I guess I'm ready to start the training--although it feels bizarre, to experience three or so years in 15 seconds."

Alex chuckled at Damons affable relatability. He also agreed, "The original intent of the device was twist memories in a controllable way. The character exam you took is based off of an encounter with a probe launched from a dying world, who contained a holo-novel of sorts that a person could live as if their own life. You passed that with flying colors, and can view your results. It's a psych test no other can match, but that was an avatar of you, a stand-in."

"If I did so well, all the credit is due to a woman who's no longer here," Damion said. "Is the three years versus 15 seconds technology the reason why I don't recall taking the test? Where did it come from?"

"Time is relative when your mind is tasked to the device. Your experience may well be much shorter, possibly longer. All the information on the Kataan Probe experience is in our systems if you're curious. Jean-Luc Picard was the first one to experience it in our records. You don't remember as it was a copy of you subjected to a lifetime of moralistic jeopardy to determine your decision making matrices. When I watch mine... it's a poorly conceived action holonovel."

Damion chuckled. "I will consider myself to have been duly warned."

The TaBB showed the base outline and schematics of the beach ball shaped device, Alex pointed, "The Ferengi purchased this tech from an unknown race via trading it, Korkil V was the system but the contact vanished before anyone took readings, dead end. Essentially it takes your memories to create the rules and illusions of your world. Every ship has their own, as we are all independent operations, with our own versions of the original training. This one is long lived, set for the IBEX, and will bring you up to speed on everything I've added to it over the years and recently as well. You will need to view my last mission, and part of your final considerations will include your responses to what I chose to do. You will ultimately decide if I was careless, or caught by circumstance."

Damion pursed his lips. "I hope I approach that without arrogance. I could just as easily be in a similar situation, and sometimes, you only have a split-second and your gut instincts to make a decision, good or bad. That kind of thing keeps you awake at night, if you let it--and not letting it is difficult."

Alex smiled, Damion clearly understood the weight of the role, "You are here because the commanders of the other ship and whoever else in on the network agreed you should be here. Your judgement is neither arrogant nor cruel, but yes, you will face similar straits. I've looked over the blackbox of other captains as well, we don't blame, we just need to learn how to be better."

Alex started a small slow stroll to lap the acre of land around them, gesturing for Damion to follow. "When I took over, the crew was almost all gone to the man, choosing a portal on an Iconian Iceball and then to God only knows wherever. I was delivered by the WOLF to bring this ship back to life. The former Captain Nguyen gave me nothing, I had to have Reggie program the scenarios and black box data, the result was an Academy like experience. Yours will be different I promise. Once you undergo the process, you'll be my colleague, and I will turn myself over for the HOME network to decide my fate. I've never seen a cruel one, Damion, but they are fair."

"I'm glad they are," Damion said. "Right now, they seem like a scary unknown, but I guess I'll be learning about them and everything else soon. I gather there's a lot to learn." He shook his head. "I'll be interested to learn why Captain Nguyen gave you almost nothing in the way of training. IBEX seems to operate completely differently from every starship I've ever heard of. You'd think she'd have thrown you at least a bone."

He considered Damion's question, "She had lost everyone to an uncertain fate. She was strapped into a machine, keeping it from falling into enemy hands by holding the portal open. I don't think much of her survived the ordeal. Her efforts though, stopped a Romulan battlegroup from seizing intact gate technology."

Damion gave Alex a shocked look. "Oh, my God..." He shook his head. "Thank you for clarifying. I'm glad what she did worked, and all respect to her and her crew." The little bits of Alex's stories were giving him a lot to think about and a lot to rethink. He suspected he sounded like a wet-behind-the-ears greenie to Alex, but better to sound like that now than later.

"It's not all explosions and epic stakes. We once sheperded a species on their migration through space, and heists are just a Tuesday tater to us. I think you'll find my last mission had a pretty clear issue, I was just too damn confident in our own myth. I really felt like we could do anything."

He made sure Damion saw the gravitas of his face as he added, "Ibex doesnt get into fights. Ever. Ambush predator. Peregrine Falcon. A cheetah even, but never does it enter your mind to put shields up and go into a fair exchange. Got it?"

"I can understand and agree with that for most situations," Damion said, "But when someone needs defending, I suspect it will be a challenge to remember to defend with creativity and the unexpected rather than with force."

Alex looked a little too sharply at Damion, "Yes, Someone. SomeOne, not something. You get it. I wanted to get my man back, I didn't want him to die or be ravaged by the Chalnoth." Alex stopped. "I shouldn't be discussing, your honest opinion is part of your final evaluation. Well then... are you ready to become my peer? You will know things the crew often have fun guessing at, Kolor is very good at picking between the lines. Reggie and you will have the full picture, the rest have their roles. Any last questions before the world changes?"

"Is anyone ever ready for...this?" Damion asked. gesturing at the foggy whiteness all around them. "It will mean a huge change in my life--one I didn't expect even an hour ago. Part of me wonders if I'm running to something or from something. It's a wild leap into the unknown--and I'm realizing this isn't the first time I've taken a wild leap that completely changed my life, based on an irrevocable decision. When I was younger, I was eager for it. Now, I'm older and a lot more cautious--but I still leapt." Damion breathed out in a huff. "Am I completely crazy, Alex?"

Alex took the words at face value, Damion spoke his heart and it was genuinely afraid of the leap of faith and change in life status this represented. Good, he's perfect for this.

Outwardly he answered, "Yes you are crazy just a bit to trust so much on so little. But you have made a career of handling what is crazy and making some sense of it, like you said this isn't your first leap. If you'll excuse me to speak to your personal life, I feel you have been waiting for the next chapter. You were quite the enamored couple weren't you, and life brings such tragedy I am sorry to say. It is a trait of the IBEX to collect wounded birds and give them a chance to alight once again. Sometimes its redemption, sometimes its guilt, or obligation or duty, but for you... I'd guess you are so eager to do this because it's exactly what you've been looking for. You will get total autonomy, and decide like a surgeon how to operate with the least harm to the patient."

Damion gave Alex a sharp look for a moment. He supposed the fact that he'd been in a relationship with Elizabeth Anderson had not been that much of a secret, but it was still odd to hear someone he'd only just met commenting on it. "It didn't feel like I was jumping at the chance when I said yes," Damion told him. "It felt more like--I was intrigued. Even Commander Severide and Captain Francis didn't seem to entirely know what IBEX did or was. But you're right. I knew I wasn't living to the best of my potential. I was in my comfort zone--and I needed that comfort zone after Elizabeth...died. I needed time to recover from the shock of it." He sighed. "But that shock has faded now, and it's time to move forward with my life."

He glanced back at Alex. "Any time you're ready."

Alex listened in earnest, his heart connecting to Damion's path in life. He spoke in a resolved way, as though an answer had been made clear to him.

"I cannot wait to see what you do. The experience will "happen" the next time you go to sleep. A vivid dream, but new memories upon waking. We wanted it to be non-painful and minimally disruptive. When you awaken you will see with vampire eyes, as the quote goes. You'll have had a vivid experience and now innate knowledge of the IBEX. Stay calm, and don't force anything. See you on the other side!"

Alex then says simply, "Darling, return the good Captain to his quarters."

-End-

 

RSS Feed